you have cancer...

so i put on my profile one of the things i hate the most is tellin someone they have cancer. today i met a 79 year old woman who will probably be in heaven by christmas. and i had to confirm what she already knew. she has cancer. her entire right breast is a malignant tumor that has metastasized to her bones, liver, pancreas, and colon. i asked how long she had noticed a lump in her breast. her answer surprised me... 3 years. we could have fixed it 3 years ago, maybe even 1 year ago, but now it is just too late. so you wonder why did she wait? Her husband has alzheimer's and she is his primary caregiver. she wanted to keep him out of a nursing home. the lump didn't hurt and she was so caught up in caring for him, she did not get it checked. she cried today when she asked me the question those in my profession dread, "how long i will live?". i tried to be positive, but my eyes teared up. she knew i couldn't look at her and lie. i just held her hand and said, "i think you have plenty of fight left in you, most of your time depends on your will to live." and then tears suddenly rolled down my face. as i looked in her eyes willing her to believe my words, although, my intelligence tells me the opposite, i wondered who told my grandmother she was dying. my grandmother, creath hughes, died this very same way, 2 years before i was born. breast cancer, metastasized to her bones, too late to fix. the moral of the story is take care of the women in your life. good women will put themselves behind everyone else. they will forget to eat because they cooked dinner and started cleaning up in one smooth process. they go to bed last and wake up first. they work full-time and still are excellent mothers. they wear high heels every day. they love with all that they have and leave nothing for themselves. when they have nothing left to give, they sacrifice their futures and their own health to meet the needs of the ones they love so much. take care of the women in your life. they know how to take care of you, but they see themselves as the last priority. the woman today was not crying because she is dying. she was crying because her husband will be in a nursing home soon and he will feel more alone there than he does now. he is trapped in a confused mind where the only stability is the feeling of home. that sense you have when you walk in your mom's kitchen and somethin about it is just right and safe. he will lose that when she dies, probably sooner, and she blames herself. what would it be like to have someone love you that much? do they make marriages like that anymore? take care of women like these because they are rare and beautiful. make them go to the doctor, get mammograms, take medicine, give them a chance to get their nails done, or get a massage, let them laugh with their girlfriends and sit down at dinner sometimes. these women are the foundation for the rest of us. they are rocks, solid and unshaken by life. but they are human and need someone to reach for their hand and dry their tears every once in a while. what would you do without the woman in your life who is and has always been the rock you stand on?