Finding our children

Isaiah 43:5

" Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
   I will bring your children from the east
   and gather you from the west."

Finding our children....
It is no secret how much I love children. When my husband and I found out that our chances of conceiving biologically were almost impossible, I was relieved. Since I was in high school, I have known that I will adopt children. God took me places all over the world and showed me the faces of abandonment that are so indescribable with words. To be honest, everyone in my family has lots of children and infertility is not something that has happened much. I actually worried I would be too fertile and get talked out of adoption in the long run. Although that is funny to read typed out....it is usually impossible to change my passionate mind about anything I set it to complete. I really did worry about it. It is my calling as a person to choose the different road that opens up new possibilities no one has considered yet. When Jeremy and I started dating, I remember clearly playing in the floor with our friend's 5 year old son, and laughing at his 5 year old jokes. Jeremy laughed at me and said, "I bet you want a bunch of kids," keep in mind we had been dating for less than a month when this happened, and I answered, "yep, I want at least 4." As soon as it came out of my mouth, I froze, thinking to myself, "good rach, scare him off early....tell him about your student loans now, too." But when I looked up, he was smiling ear to ear and said something about that sounding like a lot of fun....A few months down the road, we discussed the logistics of "at least 4" and the fact that we were both already 29. Jeremy was thinking money, logistics, wife not working, complications, etc.... I took this opportunity to suggest adoption! Bracing myself for skepticism, I was pleasantly surprised when he liked that idea a lot! You would have to understand Jeremy better to get how amazingly easy this topic has been for us. I am the dreamer, the excitement, the ideas, and the vision. Jeremy is the one responsible for completing these visions and making sure I survive my own passionate endeavors. He is more realistic, and wants to make sure I can have the dream, but still remember to eat and sleep. When I get a vision, it is all I can think about. I allow it to take me over, and that is when God seems to bless me with my best work. So back to the adoption front. It is scary. It is permanent, and it is not just something you have to live with. It is changing another person's future forever. A friend of mine told me the other day that if we as Christians don't rescue and raise the abandoned children, Satan will raise them, and use them for his purposes. I love my family so much, and I fit in with them, but there has always been something deep down that tells me I was cut from a little different mold. Something God either put in or left out of his recipe for me makes me have a relentless urgency to find my children. My heart does not ache for a pregnancy, it only aches to hear that first cry, and be able to tell that child, like it or not, you will never be unwanted again, because we want you and we need you to be part of us.